idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
