Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
