Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
