you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
