Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
