Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
