I must be too annoying 4 u.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
