remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
