His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
