He is an equal opportunity slut.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
