hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
