i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
