We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
