if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
