I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
