have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
