Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
