last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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