That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
