Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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