i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
