He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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