does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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