Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
