On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
How's work?
Spinning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
