Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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