Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
