$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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