Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
