I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
