Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
