Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
