Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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