I just saw a hot homeless man
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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