My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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