i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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