This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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