Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How naked do you want me to be?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
