quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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