What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
