Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
