You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
