are you so shy because you have an std?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
