You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
