Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
