ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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