my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
