I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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