They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
