Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
