Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
