so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
