He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
